When I first started working at the government, I worked with a guy I'll call the Straw Man. He was great. Always friendly, willing to stop and get beers after work and shoot the shit. The only problem was that he doesn't know how to work. I'll give you an example.
One time we need him to call a friend of his at another office and find something out. Not a hard request right? A month went by and nothing happened. The team leader told me that I should ask him about it a every day until it happened and the second time I asked him, he told me I was good at being a bother. But he still didn't do it. So eventually the team leader and I went down and talked to them about it. Thanks Straw Man.
He got his name because at every meeting he refers to something as being "as strawman we all put together." Which is interesting cause a straw man is a rhetorical device used to set other people up for a fall. He's got some other great one liners he liked to put out there.
"I'd like to start teeing up..."
"I just threw it over the transom.."
My first presentation to the division director, he corrected a minor mistake I made about the difference between GPS and Lat/Long.
The most frustrating part about the story is that he was promoted out of our branch, even after all the BS he fed everyone.