Rules For Drinking

As a government beauracrat, I feel it is my duty to formalize my personal rules on drinking in the following document.

No straight liquor before 5 pm (martinis and scotch)
Drinking before noon is only for vacation, funerals and all night parties
No rowdy behavior during shots unless you have a group of people (more than 4) who aren't dating

Using your loose change for tip is perfectly fine as long as its from the nights transactions and you haven't touched it yet. However once touched, you can only leave whole bills.

White Wine
- fish, chicken and white sauces
- Serve Chilled


Red Wine
- Serve any other time
- Open beforehand and let breathe
- drink until your teeth turn red

Martinis

-gin is preferential
-stirred only. Shaking martinis over ice cracks the ice, making it melt into the liquor faster. Martini spoons are specially notched to prevent this chipping. If you want a watery martini, go ahead, but you're missing the point.
-add a little olive juice if you so desire
-vermouth - pour a drop into a chilled martini glass, swirl it and pour out the excess
-garnish as appropriate


Scotch
-over ice or straight up
-10 years or older (this will increase as my income does)

Beer
-there is no bad beer, only subpar
-fruity/sweet = bad

Ciders
-fruity/sweet = bad